Parents play various roles
throughout their childrens’ lives;
they are the cook, the driver, the
doctor, the role model, the teacher,
the playmate…etc. Perhaps one of
the most challenging roles they play
is that of educator — the one that
Disciplining a child is not easy. It
demands a high level of knowledge,
patience and commitment. The
most important and challenging
commitment a parent makes is the
one informed parents take against
Studies have shown that violence
raises aggressive children and leads
nowhere. This is only one reason
why hitting is not the answer. Here
are ten more:
it does not work.
Children often forget why
they are being punished and
hit. They tend to focus on the
physical pain and not on the
it teaches aggressiveness.
Children are great
mimics. They watch their
parents for clues; then
they imitate the behavior.
Spanking teaches them that
hitting is acceptable because
parents are often seen as
role models. Countless
studies have shown that
the more a child is hit the
more likely he is to become
a hostile person and use
aggressive behavior as a
way to express his needs.
it produces fear. Many
children who are hit will learn
to fear the parent instead of
seeing the mother or a father
as an object of respect or
care or security. This fear
shakes the trust children
have toward their parents and makes
them resort to withdrawal behaviors.
it generates anger. Every
beaten child will feel that he is being
treated with unfairness. The feeling
of unfairness usually turns quickly
to anger. On the outside, they seem
compliant; but on the inside, they
are harboring anger, an anger that
threatens their well-being and their
present and future relationships.
it diminishes self-esteem.
Children use their parents’ perception
of them as their self-image; they
love themselves if their parents love
them, and they devalue themselves
if they are not loved. When a child is
hit, he/she will immediately think that
he/she is not loved or cherished, that
he is weak and powerless and that
he is a bad person! This erodes his
it makes parents lose sight of
alternatives. Once a parent begins
spanking, it is easy to forget about
the other alternatives. There are
many ways to discipline a child, all
of which are far more effective than
spanking. The next issue of “People
Are Born To Shine” will hold a special
article on “How To Discipline Your
Child Without Violence”. Don’t miss
the April edition!
it can lead to abuse. Parents will
quickly get used to spanking, even if
it is judged superficial. However, with
time spanking becomes “abuse” and
parents often end up crossing the
line without realizing that the child
could be marked for life.
it hurts parents, too. Many parents
don’t like spanking. They do not feel
good about it as a form of discipline.
After they spank their children, they
feel guilty. They also feel powerless
because spanking doesn’t work.
it can erase happy childhood
memories. Many parents work hard
to build happy childhood memories.
The hurt of spanking can easily
replace these good thoughts.
it weakens the parent-child
relationship. Spanking builds a wall
between parent and child. Children
look up to their parents and expect
to feel secure, loved and cherished.
Fear will make children lose respect
for parents. The longer children
are spanked, the less respect
they build for their parents and the
more behavioral problems will be
encountered in the future.
Source: Caron Goode, inspiredparenting.net